The Relationship Palette

Hypothetically speaking, if we could see human behaviors and emotions as different colors, then when two people got together they would have an idea of how well or dysfunctional their relationship was by the way their different colors combined.

It’s not that any colors are better than others. They all represent crucial characteristics that have been assigned at birth by our parents, somewhat like a 529 plan. The question is, how well do they go together?

Let’s use the following colors to identify some common personality features:
Red: Honor, consideration, introversion, understanding.
Yellow: Happiness, a sense of humor, extroversion.
Blue: Loyalty, shyness, low self-esteem, submissiveness.
Orange: Support, tenacity, confidence, aggressiveness.
Green: Crosses mutually-agreed boundaries, pushes the envelope, a party animal.
Violet: Respect, plays by the rules, black-and-white thinking (never gray).

None of these are set in stone, but they create what we might call your color palette. The percentages of each ingredient could vary and have hues that appear pale, reflecting areas of concern. If so, this “Color at First Sight” approach could help you create a plan to work toward strengthening your relationship.

It’s like matching colors to decorate a house. Misunderstandings and debates will happen. Toning assists with merging colors. Looking at the “color balance” of their relationship would allow a couple to better understand how their colors blend, the unique makeup of their relationship DNA. With this knowledge they are more equipped to grow with one another.

As when you are working with colors in decorating, adding something to control the brassiness or compromising (the neutral) can change the outcome. The main question is, “How do we make this relationship work?”

Different emotions and personality traits blend better than others in relationships. And keep in mind that over time a person’s “color” could actually change for various reasons. You must know your palette—which colors go well with others.

At the end of the day, as we have all experienced, sometimes we are colorblind. We are smart enough to see how messed up something is but not disciplined enough to know what the fix is. You may need to ask yourself, “Is this the end?”

Karla Davis-Luster is owner of a UPS Store in Chicago, a UPS franchisee co-op board member for the Illinois region and a certified stylist/designer. She is designer of the KKZT Collection at her Karla’s Klozet boutique and author of the romance novel The Woman Tells.